I am okay with giving myself a break

I LOVE being a mom, there is no job I would rather do.  There are mostly good moments in a day, and then intermingled there are some moments of wanting to escape.  Sweet Jamesy Boy was teething this past week, he had a hard week, which meant that I had a hard week.  I always thought I was a patient person, until I became a mom and then I realized I had a long ways to go.

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After Jamesy boy was born I figured out what was hard for me having small little angels at foot all the time.  I never got to do what I wanted to do.  While my little boys are awake, all I wanted to do was clean the house, all I wanted to do was read a book, do anything but feel trapped.

To be honest though, when I do have time to myself, I very rarely do anything productive.  For some reason when the boys are a sleep it is my break from anything productive.  Some days I feel guilty about it, and other days I do not.

I finally had clarity of mind that for me I need to pace myself.  I cannot go, go, go all the time.  And the times that I have tried that technique, I start falling apart during the bewitching hour.  By the way I love the word bewitching, who thought of that phrase is a genius!  So I have rejuvenating times, they are called naptime, and when the kids go to bed.

During these times I should be exercising, reading the scriptures, writing on a blog, cleaning the house, making dinner, fulfilling church assignments but instead I find myself taking a nap, staring at the computer, or something else that is completely useless. But you know what these priceless hours rejuvenate me to be handle the intense parts of the day, or shall I say when my boys are not at school or napping:)

Everyone has their own way to cope with how to get through the day, and this is mine. And that is why for the most part while I should feel guilty, I feel like I am learning how to get through this gig of being a mom with small little children, that love you so much and require so much, HAPPILY!

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